Blog

What does it mean to embody freedom? I offer an overview here of what I have discovered to be true for me. As always, investigate for yourself, and find your own truth. I may take a deeper dive into the various areas of freedom on future posts.

Is it freedom to never have pain? No. Pain happens, it is suffering where there is a choice. Suffering is attaching a story to the pain and “living” from that space.

There is no blame in Freedom- rather action from presence. (ie what’s next?)

It is a knowing-Freedom does not come from a piece of paper.

It’s walking tall, even if you are not able to physically.  You feel it in your core. It is there for every one of us.

You have a choice.

Freedom is not responding to that last statement with “but I can’t” or “you don’t know MY situation.”

Freedom has little to do with your situation. Most people have no clue what pure freedom is. We have spent our entire lives asking for permission, or giving up our rights. We can realize this and allow the pendulum to erroneously swing the other way.

However, freedom is NOT doing whatever we want in the moment we want to do it. It is having the ability to discern if the action is serving us or others around us. Is it right action- is it kind?

We often associate Freedom with hedonistic behavior (woohoo! lots of uninhibited sex, chocolate, alcohol, and no responsibilities)- when this in fact, is the opposite. It is historically a slave mentality, and is a trap. We are programmed to believe these indulgences will fulfill some aspect of ourselves we perceive as missing or lacking.  Not saying there is anything wrong with chocolate. Just saying this path often leaves us feeling empty, searching for more, and never being satisfied (beyond that moment).

We are accustomed to, or expect, constant stimulation in this high tech, instant gratification culture we have lived in. Our brain wants the next dopamine hit, and because of decades of conditioning through television (tell a vision, programs – get it?), and other media, we continually seek the next rush.

This becomes clear with food. We can’t possibly cover all the intricacies of our relationship to food in one post but suffice it to say, food is not meant to give us a strong, visceral reaction. Yet, the quality of processed foods in this country continues to deteriorate. We have moved a long way from slow food, grown organically on a local farm to fast food coming from all areas of the globe, oftentimes with no expiration date. High sugar, high fat, lots of toxic chemicals. And we have made food all about the condiments, such that we don’t even know what to do with real food.

I recently heard of the lawsuit against skittles for a dye they used which contained gene modifying toxins. Let’s watch where that goes. I also heard recently that most of the snack foods in a popular convenient store chain are illegal in Europe because of higher standards. Hmmm…

None of these products actually provide any nutrition. We have become a world of addicts, thanks to a few powerful players. We want to feel good all the time, and if we don’t, something must be wrong.

The voices coming at us say, “you’re an adult now, you can do whatever you want, eat whatever you want, and drink as much as you want.” and we believe we are free.

We have been slaves though. Who is really in charge of our lives?

Do you struggle with food, relationships, or your work? There is no freedom in this struggle. When you embody true freedom, and something comes up you did not intend for or desire to occur, you do not yell, curse, throw things or direct your frustration at the closest person (often yourself). Rather, you might cock your head like the RCA dog listening to the phonograph (dating myself here), and say, “huh, I wonder what this is about.” No story. No blaming. Just curiosity and next steps.

When strong emotions come up (anger, fear, worry), we shift into fight or flight mode and easily become hyper-suggestible and reactionary. Yikes! Don’t make decisions from this place, unless you want to spend your life apologizing or back tracking. And question everything you see on a screen when in this state. Those same players want us in a constant state of crisis. From that place, we are more complacent and compliant, just where they want us.

When confronted with something that elicits a strong response from you, bring yourself to a calm place, breathe, drop any story and get really present with the situation at hand. Your pre-frontal cortex (think high forehead) instead of your brain stem (low back of your head) will take over. This is your decision making part of the brain (not fully developed until around 25 years old, so its important to support our young adults). Oftentimes, rather than having to make a decision, there is a flow to life and events just happen. This comes naturally when you act from true freedom.

There is no outer force here. It is a way of being that stems from this inner knowing of who you are. No need to convince anyone of anything. You don’t care what others think of you- you know that is not your business. No one gives you your freedom. It becomes you. You become it.

This does not mean that emotions don’t arise. By golly they do because that is life. However, they come and go like the wind. We watch, we feel, and we know, it is temporary.

I wrote this a few months ago, and only now feel moved to share. Ah, life.

And just like that, my only child has left. Gone on a cross country adventure to start a new chapter in his life. I am left with memories and the dog. So, I did what any sensible mother would do: I baked a batch of cookies. Of course they were gluten free vegan, paleo and organic, but did I really need all of them? Looking at the tray, the tears began anew. I put them in the freezer.

No one to share them with. Oh poor me. Why did he have to go so far? Why do I have such sadness when at the same time, it seems, I am excited for him, and for me? Why do I need to carry this box of tissues around?

The phone rings. It’s him. He says he should have hugged me longer and he loves me. We are both sad. I don’t know when I will see him again. I haven’t been back east in about 4 years.

We hang up. I turn on some old country music. Nothing like those minor chords to get the tears going again. Why am I torturing myself? I listen to Garth Brooks, The Dance. “Our lives are better left to chance. I could have missed the pain, but I would have missed the dance.”

Eureka.

I am here to experience all of it.

But wait. These stories of him going so FAR away and not knowing WHEN I would see him again…what if they weren’t real? What if, time and space are just mental constructs meant to cause pain and division. What if it IS all just an illusion? And what if I am just trying to distract myself from the discomfort?

We are not separate. Languages, cultures, religions…have been designed to divide us, rather than encourage us to embrace these differences while still recognizing we are all one.

I put the dog in the car and head to the lake. There is a teenager with his truck stuck in the mud. How did he get that far off the boat ramp? I take a picture to send to my son to warn him of what can happen. I loan my phone to the kid and bring him wood to put under his wheels. A friend of his comes along and pulls him out with his truck. And just like that he is gone.

This is grief. This is loss. Loss of another identity or role. I too will be moving, but where yet I do not know. Soon though. I am nomadic. The wild calls me. Wanderlust. Someplace different, someplace new. I am here to experience. No expectations. No pressure.

My son gets to discover who he is beyond his relationship with me. I will always be there for him, while encouraging his continued independence. He has new friends to lean on, a safe place to be, and job potentials. I couldn’t have asked for anything more.

Are we truth seekers? Do we want to know what is real and what is merely an illusion or deception?

When our mothers told us we were stupid or a teacher said we would not amount to anything, did we believe them simply because they were a trusted authority figure in our lives? We grabbed on and identified with the lies, spending years as a slave to these “thought forms,” until finally we get into therapy or deep inner spiritual work and uncover the truth. We do have sovereignty. We do not have to believe or identify with something simply because someone we trust or someone in authority who we fear, told us it is so. But oftentimes we do.

Much of our work here is learning and coming to the realization that we have been conditioned, programmed to believe that a tree is a tree, or that we are limited in some way. Those are simply labels, and mental constructs that have distracted us from seeing truth. We have an opportunity to say no more to this mind control. We can live in what Eckhart Tolle refers to as the Vertical Dimension. One connected to source, to God, our creator.

From the beginning of our lives, we have been given information, data, sometimes overtly, and sometimes not. It is infused in our subconscious and we treat it as truth. This in turn, can cause us great suffering. We are then told more lies, and the suffering continues. These lies are so ingrained into our being that it is like seeing through a veil, or a thick black cloud, yet we are unaware that this shroud exists.

Until that light peeks through this “shield” of sorts, we accept life as it is, struggling as one does. Once it does though, we begin to see with new eyes. Everything takes on a new brilliance. Our senses are on high alert. At the same time, we see the unconsciousness of another. We recognize patterns and know that is not truly who that person is and we see it as ego attachment or protective mechanisms. We don’t take what everyone says to heart. Our discernment about what is coming from grace and what is not is strengthened.

This discernment, if allowed, can be applied to the collective unconsciousness. One can step back from a situation and see truth. There are dark forces in this world. There are benevolent ones. Does fear dominate our existence? Or do we choose to live from the Vertical dimension and take action if needed from a place of love and clarity? Can you feel the difference?

We are infinite beings with potential far beyond anything we have been told. We have been conditioned on many levels by mainstream media, social media, and our institutions. This has been to keep us suppressed. All will soon be revealed in our world in a big way. Can you stay in presence and know that you are, at your core, pure consciousness, unable to be harmed? Can you step outside of what you have believed to be true, especially over the past several years, and see YOURSELF, beyond all of it?

There is so much love and support for you. Use this time to fully wake up to the beautiful unique presence that you are.

No. That’s the simple answer. At any minute you can be hit by a car, struck by lightening, have a heart attack or stroke, contract some strange disease, and die or be so devastated by your circumstances that you consider taking your own life. You could be the victim of seemingly random, or not so random, violence, get food poisoning, or die in a car or plane crash. A tree could fall on your house and crush you. You could have a serious medication interaction, or fall. There are innumerable ways to die. Death happens. We cannot evade it forever.  It is a part of our cycle of life and is out of our control.

Pre-Covid in our culture, many took their safety for granted, assuming they were safe, living in a cloud of invincibility. Now that the pendulum has shifted, people, at least on some level, recognize that they are NOT safe, and are acting from this mindset. Whether the fear is of the virus or repercussions of the lockdown, it is still fear.

The better question though is not, “Are you safe?” rather, “Do you feel safe?” Does our level of feeling safe in this world directly correlate to our circumstances? For instance, can we feel safe in a war zone? Are we afraid simply going to the grocery store? Feeling safe is a choice. We do have control over whether or not we feel safe. This may take some practice and is totally possible.

Why are some folks able to live their lives with joy in the moment while events around them would seem to dictate they respond differently? Is there a secret? Do they know something we all should?

There are whole groups of people in our society who know in their heart that they have never been safe. There are also many among those same groups who transcended any limitations externally imposed on them.

As I sit here looking out my kitchen window of our new temporary home, I watch the field worker spraying chemicals around the plants. I am using tap water for rinsing my vegetables and cooking with it as well, despite its murky look and strange odor. Both have posed great challenges for me in the past. I notice my throat is sore, I am a little congested, and I have a mild headache. I realize in this moment that I have a choice. I can choose what is behind curtain “A” and be a victim to my situation, blaming everything and everyone including myself for my circumstances. Am I attached to this persona, this aspect of my ego that evolved originally as a means to protect me? Do I still need this protection? This shield?

I had made a commitment to see the truth of who I am, and quickly decided on curtain “B” (get it? “Be”) that NO, I did not need to hold onto this aspect any more. It had been cracking wide open with this latest transition in my life, and I was being shown everything that does not serve me. I could clearly see where I was not yet free. Not so comfortable, but necessary.

This contemplation brought my inner awareness into focus. I let go of that “protection” of being a victim. I was free from that aspect (at least for the moment, our work is never done). The tense headache lifted, my symptoms dissipated. I had a choice.

My son and I took the dog for a walk for the first time in our new home and discovered we now lived right next to an arboretum and a river. We get to play in water every day and be among the trees. The rural area is so still and peaceful at night. It was obvious where I wanted to put my attention. We are blessed.

This doesn’t mean I play with fire because I want to test my resolve at being a burn victim. We will not stay here very long as I also choose to take the best care of family and myself that I can. We do what we have to do to get to the place of feeling safe. But that feeling safe place is not on the outside. It is an aspect of our inner world. Any finger pointing, or blaming is a distraction by the ego to keep us in the illusion of safety and separation.

It is easy and familiar to look on the outside and blame and shame others for their behavior or our circumstances. When we focus there, our attention is not on our inner work or the present moment. We have left ourselves in that instance. We cannot grow or evolve in our truth from this place.

This does not mean we don’t take action if needed. Rather, coming from a place of inner clarity, our actions will be more productive and compassionate. This direction, guided by a higher awareness, will bring us towards healing.

May you all feel safe.

The day my husband left, I got a sore throat that developed into  a full-blown cold. After a few days of incessant coughing, it finally hit me. I was trying desperately to expel unhappiness. Man, it was not pretty either. I was gagging, and my nose was sorely chafed. I’ll spare you colors and viscosity. I walked around aimlessly with the tissue box. I knew this was desperately needed (referring to the cleansing, not the tissue box though that was clearly helpful), and I understood the process. I wasn’t going to get away with pretending to move on or keep myself busy and distract from the sadness. No. I had to feel it all and let grief have its way. I couldn’t live from the old paradigm.

The waves would come, welling up deep inside me, at first building, like a tsunami.  I would think, Holy Crap, I am going to drown! (I am not very big on tsunamis mind you). I soon learned to just observe them. Then at quiet moments, as a ripple of emotion flowed over me, Oh, I am sad, and lonely. Feeling empty…there it is. Here I am. Alone.

I had done so much inner work, and read so many books on conscious relationships. I’ve helped many others with issues with their partners. Where had I gone wrong?

Wow. I didn’t let that one stay for long, but the fact that this feeling of failure even came up was an indication to look a little deeper. We can be highly aware in some areas, and not so much in others.

My identity was shifting. Who am I without him? The attention was turning back to me. The caregiver that I was did not know what to do with myself. This felt all too familiar. I knew it was time to let that old way of being go, and reinvent myself (like again!).  This didn’t mean that I didn’t allow myself to feel. Oh, I did. I paid attention to what came up and chose not to believe anything that wasn’t serving to this new way.  I wanted to know the truth of who I was. I mean, the real truth, and nothing but the truth. I hit my rock bottom, and it was time to see beyond this illusion we call life.

Hence, with love in my heart, the internal and external housecleaning process had begun anew with clear intentions.

Big hugs and lots of love to all going through loss of any kind,

Johanna

What is Love?

My Shamanic therapist Selena asked me to contemplate this meditatively. This was of course after we discovered my 3 year old energetic-self hiding in a cave. That is another story, but it became clear, my work was ongoing. So, in the privacy of my home, I set my Insight Timer app on my phone, and let myself drop in.

Ding

Continue reading “What is Love?”

I used to love reading the real printed newspaper as a kid, going straight to the Dear Abby column, then the comics. As if I didn’t have enough of my own drama (I have 9 siblings), I had to read about someone else’s. Abby mostly rocked in her responses; she was honest, direct, and checked out her sources. Sometimes she got it wrong. She admitted it, and we forgave her.

Ask the Dragonfly is like Dear Abby with a spiritual, and sometimes humorous, twist, a higher purpose. It is a means to communicate on a deeper level with my audience regarding any issue that invites a more conscious understanding. Phew. What the heck? Isn’t that like everything?

The dragonfly is a call to change, and a symbol of transformation in many cultures and traditions. For those of us who have the dragonfly as our spirit guide or power animal, we often seek advice from their wise essence when we want to be more conscious in our decisions.

In times of need, though, sometimes a highly charged personal situation keeps us from really tuning in to this higher energy. We are weighed down by our stories, our history, and have trouble navigating the issue.

Ask the Dragonfly invites us to look for the higher purpose in any discord, and see the light where one might only feel darkness. It encourages us to open to our own transformation and be ready for change. We are offered a new perspective, which may challenge us to adapt and evolve, in our feelings, in our thinking. This is our journey.

If you think the idea of having a spirit, totem, or power animal is too New Age for you, there is always the possibility that the Dragonfly is your Patronus (Harry Potter)!

Our true nature is one of love and compassion. This is really about being the best that we can be. If you are open to increasing your awareness, connecting with your inner guide and addressing your issues from a more compassionate and conscious place, I invite your comments, or questions (send a private question here) and I will intuitively help you reconnect with the truth of who you are.

Blessings,

Johanna